Short answer
When someone hurts you, the pain can be profound, making prayer for them seem impossible. Yet, the Bible calls us to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us. This isn't about excusing their actions, but about releasing your own heart through Christ's power. It's a journey of inviting God into your hurt, seeking His perspective, and allowing Him to work in both your life and theirs, ultimately finding freedom and a deeper walk with Him.
What Scripture says
"But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,"
"And Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” And they cast lots to divide his garments."
"Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."
"bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive."
Going deeper
Being hurt by someone can leave deep wounds—anger, betrayal, sorrow, and even a desire for justice. These emotions are real, and it’s important to acknowledge them before God. It might feel counterintuitive, or even unfair, to pray for someone who has caused you such pain. You are not alone in struggling with this. Many people wrestle with the command to love and pray for those who have wronged them.
The Bible consistently calls believers to a higher standard, one that reflects God’s own heart for humanity. Jesus himself, while being crucified, prayed, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34). This radical act of love doesn't condone the sin, but rather expresses a desire for God's mercy and transformation. When we pray for those who hurt us, we are not saying their actions were acceptable, but we are choosing to entrust them to God's justice and grace, freeing ourselves from the burden of seeking our own revenge (Romans 12:19-21).
This command to pray for those who hurt us is deeply connected to the gospel. We, too, have sinned against a holy God, and yet, through Christ's sacrifice, we are offered forgiveness and reconciliation. As Colossians 3:13 reminds us, we are to forgive "as the Lord has forgiven you." This isn't a call to pretend the pain didn't happen, but to lean on God's strength to extend a grace that mimics the grace we have received through Jesus. It's an act of faith, believing that God can work even in the most broken situations, in their heart and in ours.
So, how do you practically pray? Start by bringing your honest feelings to God. Tell Him your anger, your hurt, your confusion. Then, ask God to show you His heart for that person. Pray for their repentance, for their eyes to be opened to their actions, and for their spiritual well-being. You can also pray for God’s healing in your own heart, for strength to resist bitterness, and for the grace to extend forgiveness, knowing that true forgiveness is a process, not a one-time event. This prayer journey is ultimately for your freedom and spiritual growth.
Key takeaways
- Acknowledge your hurt and anger honestly before God.
- Praying for someone who hurt you is a biblical command, exemplified by Jesus.
- It is not excusing their actions, but releasing your need for vengeance to God.
- This act of forgiveness mirrors the forgiveness we receive through Christ.
- Pray for their repentance, spiritual well-being, and for your own healing and freedom from bitterness.
A prayer
Dear God, my heart is heavy with the pain caused by [Name/Situation]. I confess my anger, hurt, and confusion to You. It's hard to pray for them, but Your Word calls me to. Please help me. I pray for [Name] that You would open their eyes to truth, bring conviction where needed, and draw them to Yourself. Heal my own wounds, Lord, and help me to extend forgiveness as You have forgiven me. Free my heart from bitterness and replace it with Your peace and love. Amen.
Read the full passages
Every scripture cited above, opened for reading and study in context.